Brown must play the cards we least suspect

Finally, almost with a hint of wheezed despair, surely the most protracted and prolific moving of houses ever witnessed is completed this week, the title deeds for a cosy yet prestigious semi-detached, coming complete with respectable views, en suite and prime ministerial seals falling in to the hands of Gordon Brown.

Those who have protested vehemently at Brown’s path to leadership being as straightforward as an instruction manual for making a sandwich should get the soft prod of all those who voted in Labour’s favour at the last general election who marked their ballot sheets safe in the knowledge that their vote represented the condition that Brown would, at some point, sweep to the premiership. For all intents and purposes, this is the way both parties would have wanted the changeover to happen – albeit with a few looking perplexedly at their watches. For them, the lingering waft of a snap election hangs tantalisingly airborne.

Where, then, does one pick up the pieces of the life they’ve been longing for now for over a decade? Certainly, if and when a deal was struck between two gentlemen in a restaurant, could one ever envisage stepping in to the country we live in today?

The Daily Mail will tell anyone who’ll listen that the country’s gone to pot. David Cameron will tell anyone who’ll listen (a number steadily snowballing, it would seem) that things need to change – though what these ‘things’ and whichever this ‘change’ is or are or ever will be seems to shift on a weekly – if not daily – basis. Brown’s going to have a hard time figuring out how to tackle Cameron, as he seems to avoid that most taboo of tactics, spin, he does seem to have a talent of exploiting key areas when most needed to be called upon.

Brown is left, like so many seafaring politicians to bold enough to take on the high seas of power, between that marooner’s kismet of a rock and a hard place. He could stride in and play his forte, the economy. It sounds limiting, but taking on the economy can apply to may areas – economy in schools, economy in healthcare, economy in the fight against terrorism, economy in taxes…he’s spoilt for choice.

To set the groundwork for an immediate shock and awe campaign, though, it could be suggested that Brown’s main offensive is doing a bit of the ol’ razzle-dazzle on the things we’ve expect him to help out in. One of his first ports of call will be national security; not just sweeping statements about pulling the troops out of Iraq “when the time’s right” or “acting in the best interests of the people” – we’ve heard all that before. Year after year his pre-budget report announces the highest sustained economic growth since clichés began. No, say something that’ll really make us think - no more Tony to keep your hands tied.

Second area will be climate change – the temptress that’s become the ultimate in poisoned chalices. Don’t blow your own horn about how you’re doing ‘your bit’, of course we know you’re not using a removal van with all the nasty CO2 to move house – you’re moving in next door. And as for cycling, I really don’t think anyone wants to see a lycra-clad prime minister incumbent. No, actually doing something will be good; if Bush won’t play ball, then attentions must turn to China to follow our lead.

Thirdly…well, I’d hardly want to say exactly what needs to be done. I’m no politician (thanks, but no thanks) and it’s not for me to scoff at advisers who have it all figured out. Just surprise us, Gordon.